Why I Choose to Be a Member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

I originally planned for this post to come out next week. But with the recent events of so many happenings, I thought it best to put it all out today.

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Many people call us Mormons, most likely because we use The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ as a companion scripture to the Bible. For those who do not know, The Book of Mormon is an ancient record of a people led by God out of Jerusalem long ago to a new land; this record includes their testimonies, faith-building experiences, and even an event in which they bore witness of our resurrected Savior Jesus Christ.

I have been a member of this church my entire life. My parents are members and taught me the teachings of both the Bible and The Book of Mormon along with revelation from modern prophets, whom we believe have been called of God to lead His children in these last days.

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints not because my parents expect it, not because of any possible pressure from others to live this way, not out of obligation or fear or convenience. I choose to be a member. I choose this faith and religion, and here's my why.

Why I Choose to Be a Member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

I believe that when we choose something, we have to choose it again and again to keep it. I have to choose again and again to live the gospel of Jesus Christ as taught in The Book of Mormon, Bible, and other modern revelations taught by my religion.

There is a beautiful story told by a former apostle of the church that I think of often. Elder Hugh B. Brown's parable of the Current Bush is about pruning a bush to make it grow as he, the gardner, knows it can be. Later, he had an experience in which he did not receive a promotion because of his religion. And when he questioned the Lord, he was reminded of the current bush. The Lord knew what He wanted Elder Brown to be.

I've had my own many faith-building experiences that have cut me down and when I have relied on the Lord, He has grown me into what He always knew I could be.

A few years ago, Scott and I felt prompted after much prayer and fasting, to move to Missouri. We took the leap and ended up in central Missouri near the capitol. We bought a house on almost 10 acres. It had a pond, trees, ready-to-use chicken coop, and a peace that I will never forget.

When we bought this land, Scott had just come home from a year and a half in Afghanistan. Before that, he had spent over six months in Kuwait. So we had been apart for a while and were very happy to be back together.

Scott also had been making very good money while in Afghanistan and coming back meant he had to give up that job and pay. He found a job, though, so we weren't too concerned. It was a pay cut, but we would make due.

However, we felt prompted to start a business and so Scott gave up that job and we went full speed ahead.

For those who have followed my blog over the years, you know that business did not work out, and we ended up in debt for both the failed business and other necessities in our home.

Finding a job was not easy in central-Missouri for Scott. His expertise was in IT but the places hiring were not able to hire him at the salary we expected and hoped for. So we settled.

It was also during this time that we were going through all the feels of infertility. I had not been able to get pregnant after the years of trying to conceive, even after working with an infertility specialist. We had planned to adopt before Scott went to Kuwait and were even in the process of home studies and working with an agency. But we had to put everything on hold with other events that encouraged us to sell our home and move in with my parents while Scott was deployed with the military.

When we decided to close our barely-open business, I was mad. So mad. Angry. I cried so much, more than I've ever cried. I wanted to yell at God, but I also didn't, because He's God. But I was angry at Him for sending us to Missouri and for not providing a way for us to survive there, for things not working out with our business so that we could have money and use it to fix our home and adopt a child. If we were supposed to be there, why wasn't He making things better for us?

During this time of anger and frustration and trying to figure out what to do about work and money, I found out I was pregnant. It was the happiest day. It was our miracle. After so many years of trying and trying, finally we had our miracle baby.

I was thankful to God--so thankful. I was so excited for this baby.

But I was still angry.

Even though I was thankful to be pregnant, I questioned and murmured to God: Why did you give us this baby when we are the poorest we have ever been, when we are going through the hardest trial we have ever been through? Why now of all the times that would have made more sense?

I was cut down so far, to the stump it felt like. And it hurt so much.

I questioned God. I questioned if He was really real. I questioned if He really loved me. I was going through a major faith crisis.

It came down to this: Do I really believe it all? And the answer was yes. I knew The Book of Mormon was true, still know. I knew God had revealed Himself to me through clear impressions from the Holy Ghost in the past. I served a mission and had beautiful and profound experiences serving the Lord and the people in South Korea. I served in different capacities of the church that helped me recognize God's hand in the lives of others. I knew God led me to Scott. And I knew this baby was from God.

I had to make a choice: Do I turn my back on all the divine experiences I've had that have taught me about God's and Jesus's mercy, love, forgiveness, peace, joy, and more? Or do I stay and lean on God to carry me through this great trial.

I chose to stay, to hope, to believe.

And healing did not come right away. It took time.

I had my baby girl and welcomed her into the world with so much gratitude to God. And in the midst of it, we were still dealing with so much, more than I can even add to this post. It was overwhelming and caused a lot of anxiety.

But I did find happiness in the little things. I enjoyed cuddles with my miracle baby. I kept a gratitude journal that helped me recognize the good in each day. I read scriptures and prayed.

We went through more trials of moving and moving again, and again. More heartache. More ups and downs. But I chose to stay through it all because I saw God in the details. He poured out tremendous blessings on my family. He continued to guide and support us through it all.

I can't deny the experiences I've had--this and so many other faith-building moments in my life. And what has kept me going is The Book of Mormon, prayer, words from church leaders, my callings in the church that have grown my abilities and understanding, temple attendance, renewing my covenants through partaking of the sacrament each week, and so much more.

I choose to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints because it's home, it's peace, it's truth, and my heart sings to it.

I'll be sharing more of my faith and experiences going forward. I love being a member. And I want to share my love for my church and religion.

If you don't know much about my faith and want to learn more, I invite you join us for our semi-annual broadcast featuring leaders of our church this Saturday and Sunday. You can find all the information at ChurchofJesusChrist.org.