I have wanted to write this post for while. But now that I’m sitting down to do it, I’m not sure where to start.
After long deliberation, I have decided to start at the beginning, so you understand the full story—why speaking out about infertility is important to me and why I’m okay, hopeful, and looking forward to the future.
Warning: this is a long post.
I have been married for over six and a half years. For five and a half of those years, I have wanted so much to have a baby.
I got married a little later than most members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints living in Utah—age 28. I know. That’s not a big deal for most of the world. But for those outside Utah or who are unfamiliar with the culture of the church, 28 is a little older than many, not all, but many. As members of the church, we are encouraged to get married and start families because we believe families are a part of God’s plan for His children. I happened to find my amazing companion and best friend in my later 20s.
And that was okay with me. Well, I struggled with it. I was upset sometimes I was not getting married or dating as much as I would have liked at the time. But I was so happy when I found the one I wanted to be with for the rest of eternity. And I couldn’t wait to have kids with him—kids who would look like him and talk like him, kids who would have his sense of humor, kids who would be as crazy and wild as that kid I taught on my mission (he knows who he is, but I doubt he’s reading this). 🙂
We started trying a year after we got married.
But kids never came.