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Sometimes Your Story Needs a Reset—And that’s Okay

Jan 15, 2019

I’ve always wanted to live in a little studio apartment. But not just any studio. I want one of those fancy New York studios with the brick walls and the worn wood flooring and the open kitchen.

I know, a studio apartment is not really practical for the amount of stuff Scott and I have, but maybe one day, after or during the zombie apocalypse, we’ll find a studio apartment and be happy. We’ll have plants growing in the windows and knotted fabric tied on a rod for our curtains and random pieces of furniture that have survived the destruction.

One can hope….

I Used to Live in a House

Really. Scott and I owned a house. It was a cute thing with a tiny back yard.

Well, it was more than cute. I loved that place!

When we went house shopping and walked into that house, I knew it was the place for us because of the flooring. It was a grayish-brown laminate wood. Beautiful!

And the kitchen was open to the living room. And there were lots of windows letting in natural lighting. And the countertops were granite. And there was a place for a big fridge. And the master bedroom had a walk-in closet. And it had three bedrooms so we could turn one into an office and the other into a hopeful place for a kid. And it had an unfinished basement with lots of potential!

Peeps, I loved that house. LOVED. IT!

But It Was Not Meant to Be

A year ago, we moved. I can’t believe it has been that long!

We moved because we realized… wait, this is important… we are not the Joneses. Nope. We are the Comtes. And we do things different than the Joneses. And we really like being the Comtes.

Here’s what happened. I had my anxiety attack —I won’t go over all the details again —and then we realized we needed to reevaluate our lives. Were we doing what we really wanted to be doing? Were we happy?

The answers led us to making a lot of changes. And we realized that right now, in that time of our lives, we needed to sell our house, our beautiful house, and reset.

Oh the reset button. It’s a blessing. But when you push it, it hurts. Oh the pain.

The Blessings of Resets

We reset, yes. We sold our house. We moved in with my parents in Las Vegas. Scott left with the military a few months later. And our lives have never been the same.

Resetting allowed us to think about what we really wanted to do. It allowed me to heal. It allowed me to get creative again. It allowed Scott to accept another job. It allowed us to get to this path.

What is this path? Why are we so excited about it? ‘Cause, peeps, we are very excited for this path.

Our Path—Brought to You By Our Reset

Scott got a great job. And when I say great job, I mean it. It pays well. And that money will allow us to pay for adoption.

We moved into a cute little two-bedroom apartment. Currently the second bedroom is an office. But it has the potential to be a child’s bedroom —important for our home study.

I’m writing. I’m on my dream career path, and I’m loving every minute of it.

Scott is dreaming again. He’s not super stressed out like he was when we were trying to be like the Joneses. He’s thinking about the future and what he wants to do, and he’s excited for all the possibilities.

The Pains of Reset

As I mentioned, the reset was painful. I fought the idea of moving and selling our house. I wanted to stay. I searched the logical part of my brain over and over for a reason that made sense to stay. I argued with Scott. I cried. And finally, I accepted that we needed to make some big changes.

Moving was hard. Setting aside my ego and choosing to live with my parents again was hard. (I love them so much and they are amazing, but it was my independent, prideful self that made it hard, at first. Turns out, I needed those months with them and I loved the time I spent with them.) Being without Scott was and is hard. Moving again, into an apartment and not a house was hard. Devoting myself to creativity and writing is hard. Telling myself I’m good enough is hard.

Resetting is hard, but it is worth it. I can honestly say I’m happier than I have been in a long time. And I am looking forward to the future in a way I haven’t in a long time.

My Greatest Takeaway

We have power over our life stories. Why settle and try so hard to live in a way that doesn’t quite fit us, when something else, something better, is calling us?

Resetting is hard, but so worth it when it’s needed.

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