I am embarrassed to admit so many things about this last year. The most embarrassing thing, though, is that I have let myself succumb to fear, anxiety, and depression (I’m not talking clinical). Yes, I get that these are things everyone experiences. We shouldn’t be embarrassed. It’s normal. And yet, we are. Right?
n
The Aftermath of a Failed Business
When we decided to dissolve KreatNou, we did so quickly because a lot of money was going into it that we needed back. We shut down our Podcast (the most successful thing we had done), closed the website, closed a bunch of other accounts that helped us with business management and marketing, and re-evaluated our dreams and goals.
nn
One morning, I woke up thinking, “I don’t want to quit our dreams. What else can we do?”
nn
I turned to Scott and said, “What if we brought our game trailer here and worked that business?” If you don’t know, we own a game trailer from a business we started a few years ago and quit when Scott was deployed to Kuwait. The trailer was still in Utah being rented out by another business. But they hadn’t made payments in months, and wouldn’t it be nice if we could put the trailer to use making money for us instead of depleting it?
nn
“No,” Scott responded. “I don’t want to do that again. If I do another business, I’d rather do something I enjoy.”
nn
“How about a bakery then? You have always said that you want to open a baker. Why not now? Maybe we could figure it out.”
nn
Scott thought for a minute or two before responding. “Maybe. We could start out small—just do bread and sandwiches.”
nn
It sounded exciting, so we went to work planning and dreaming. We even took a trip with some friends to a Masonite bakery south of Jefferson City to look at their operation. And we even found a place downtown where we could potentially rent out a small kitchen to stay within Missouri food laws.
nn
We were so excited. This felt right, didn’t it? I mean, everything was coming together.
nn
And to top it off, I was offered a potential space to teach yoga. And the space was fantastic!
n
But Then Nothing Worked Out
The landlord of the kitchen wanted a huge amount for such a tiny space. And the yoga studio wouldn’t be available for months because the owner’s son was storing furniture in it while he was building a house.
nn
And we needed money now.
nn
Fear set it. And along with it: frustration, anger, and confusion.
nn
“Didn’t we feel prompted to move here? Why then is nothing working out?”
nn
To get some immediate cash, Scott did a few days of work with Uber. Then he was offered a job making a very little money. But at least it was something. And then another job came along making more. And then another. He finally settled on the last, allowing us to barely make paying our bills and our debts from two failed businesses.
nn
I tried looking for a job too. We weren’t sure how we would make things work with only one car, but we needed the money. I had an interview… and didn’t get the job.
nn
And then I found I was pregnant.
n
Pivoting
I’ll cover the miracle of the pregnancy in in part 3, because it was a true, wonderful miracle. What’s important to note about the pregnancy here is that it created a greater need to find a solution to our financial situation.
nn
I decided to try freelancing. Yuck. It’s not bad. It’s the finding clients that’s difficult. No, it’s the working with clients that’s difficult. My one client had to be pretty new to their roll because they did not know how to articulate their needs. Also, pregnancy brain had fully set in, and it took every ounce of my energy and brain power to focus on writing web pages and product descriptions.
nn
I had another job interview, and it seemed I would get the job because it would be working under my very good friend and former boss. But while she was away for a week, her boss hired someone else.
nn
During this time of looking for work, I focused on yoga and my own website—SaraAnnComte.com—the place you’re reading this.
nn
I thought, “Maybe KreatNou has to go away. But maybe I can still use some of the products with my own brand.”
nn
I started a blog years ago. And it has morphed and morphed and morphed. I’ve never really been able to settle on what I want to do with it. Once it was going to be a DIY blog. Another time it was a place to share stories and poems I had written. Another time it was writing tips. Needless to say, I’ve struggled with my content, and that’s why the site/blog has been such sporadic thing.
nn
The purpose of having my own brand and website has always been to support my writing: My current novella, “Brita On Fire,” and my future books. But I never wanted to be another writing blog, teaching others how to write. I’ve always felt there was something else to focus on, but, obviously, I’ve struggled with what that is.
nn
Moving some of the ideas and products from KreatNou, I changed things up on my site once again. I thought, “Maybe I can focus on things that I love: yoga, style, adventure, my stories, etc.” I even looked into affiliate marketing and bought a blog course.
nn
In the end, this idea didn’t work out so well either. There was something missing. And it wouldn’t be until after Berkley was born that I would figure it out.
nn
To be continued. Stay tuned for Part 3 coming soon.
nn