Where Have I Been: The Big 2-Year Life Update, Part 1

I don't even know where to start. The last couple years are a blur, even though they have been some of the most profound, heart-wrenching, crazy, impacting, and even beautiful years in our almost 14 years of marriage.

I wrote my last blog post in early 2023, as well as my last Instagram post. I didn't mean it to be the last. I had plans—plans for yoga and writing and all the things. But life got in the way and it became easier not to write, post, or add to my little corner of the Internet.

The Move Back to Mid-Missouri, Again

When Scott and I moved our little family to Pittsburgh in 2022, we knew it would be temporary. It wasn't a move we wanted to make. We loved our home and land in Missouri and wanted to get back to it as soon as possible.

After a year, the opportunity came—a job offer in Columbia, only 30 minutes from our home. And the company was very interested in Scott.

It seemed serendipitous. The offer came at the perfect time. My parents were moving close to us. Our renters only had a couple more months in our house. Everything was working out.

We moved back with ease and lived with my parents while we waited for our house to be free. And when we moved in, the plans that we had before became dreams again. We plotted out where we would put our garden. We started cleaning up the land. We moved Berks into the bigger bedroom, now that she was entering toddler stage with more toys and and a bed and other toddler items. We were excited for the future.

Happily Living, but Also Holding On

When we first moved to Missouri in 2020, we had very little debt. Our major debts were a very little bit on a credit card, our one car, and a game trailer that was being leased out back in Utah. We also had a good amount of savings.

But we also had a crazy idea to start a business with our podcast. Do you remember that? We first called it The Comte Creative and later changed it to reflect our business KreatNou. (Honestly, I loved that podcast and would do it again in a heartbeat. Maybe one day...)

You only live once, right? And we decided to go all in to see what we could do.

As my readers from years ago may recall, the business didn't work out so well. We went through a big trial that was faith building and extremely hard. But we made it through. Not without acquiring more debt, though. And that debt was still crushing us when we moved back to Missouri from Pittsburgh.

We were doing okay with Scott's job and other money he received through VA student aid. But we were extremely tight and worried and frustrated, but also faithful, knowing the Lord had wanted us there; He would take care of us. And He did. We saw the blessings and miracles.

We were happy. Berks was growing and growing and filling our days with new exciting discoveries. We still went on little adventures to places around us. We had family close by. We had our land to work, which I really loved. And we had our dreams and each other. We felt that if the Lord really wanted us to stay, everything would work out.

Why Didn't I Get a Job?

The best answer I have for this is that it wasn't right. We prayed and discussed all the things. I looked. I applied. But in the end both Scott and I decided it wasn't right for our family. At least not then/now.

The Big Life Update: A Surprise Twist, Looking for Answers

Things seemed to be going well with Scott's job and we hoped that it would eventually lead to more opportunity and growth. But, with a crazy twist of events, the company wasn't doing so well and they let Scott go.

It was extremely frustrating because of how it all happened. I won't get into it here, but the events surrounding his leave were shady, confusing, and angering.

Scott started looking for a job right away, but to no avail. A lot of companies were on hiring freezes because of the questionable economy, and there were a lot of scam jobs that made sifting through job postings ridiculous.

In the midst of this new situation, we questioned a lot: Are we really supposed to be here? Why were did we feel from the Lord that we were supposed to come and it seems like we've just had one trial after another here? Where are we going to find a job? Should we move? Should we forget about this place?

My heart hurt from these questions. I wanted to much for our lives to be there, at our home in the trees with the pond and the animals. I wanted Berks to grow up there in the country with the people we had come to love.

We still had hope. We poured more time and effort into our property. We cut down a couple trees there were where we wanted our garden. We burned old brush that needed to be cleared away for a long time. We started clearing out overgrowth near our pond. It would work out. We knew it.

But, spoiler, it didn't. We were about to make another huge life update/change.

To be continued...