It's as Simple as You Matter

This is a hard post to write because I get emotional thinking of why it is so important to me. And I actually wrote the entire thing already and then it all erased. So here I go again, feeling all the emotions.

When I sat down to write this week's blog post I had one thought in mind: You matter.

Why is this so important? Why an entire post on this? How do I convey this well, so you understand why it matters to me that you know you matter?

Let's Start with a Story

I have always been shy and I've assumed it's a sign of introversion. It's hard for me to introduce myself to others and put myself out there. I don't readily offer information about me or know how to share about my life when someone asks. I cop-out with, "I'm boring," and move on.

However, when people get to know me and I feel comfortable around them, I'm a little more willing to offer my ideas and voice.

Over the last few years I've had a revelation about why I have a hard time getting to know others or talk to people easily. I don't think I'm introverted. A sign of introversion is usually about energy. Those who are more introverted feel depleted when around others, while those who are more extroverted feel a surge of energy when around others. I actually get a surge of energy so I believe I'm somewhere in the middle. I love social situations, if they don't make me feel awkward. I love inviting others over to my house and being the host of the party. I love being around other moms, and I feel more energized and relaxed after taking my daughter to a playdate.

The realization I had about myself was hurtful. It makes me emotional even as I write this. And it may be part of the reason I've had such a hard time writing my blog or creating content, something I love, over the last few years.

And when I had this realization about myself, I told my husband--the one who is always there for me, who is the one I can always talk to, who lifts me up and makes me feel special and seen, who helps me see my talents and good qualities. And I could see the hurt in his eyes when I told him. And it wasn't about him. It was about how I perceive others see me. But the hurt was still there.

I told him that I felt like I had a hard time making friends because I didn't feel like I matter. I didn't feel like others really cared what I have to say. I assumed right away that people were not interested in me or didn't like me.

Some of these thoughts and feelings have come from really bad friendships and experiences, where others have hurt me, taken advantage of me, made me feel worthless to lift themselves up and make themselves feel better.

But it's not true. And I see that now better than ever. I'm still awkward and shy, and I still have a hard time letting others in. But I'm recognizing my self-sabotaging thoughts for what they are. I'm learning, realizing, believing that I matter. And I'm realizing that people do want to know me, know my thoughts, and know my ideas, and they want to be my friend.

You Matter Too

My goal with telling you this story isn't for sympathy or reassuring thoughts or words from others. My goal is to find relate, to help those reading this post know why this matters to me so much.

I am sure that everyone has these feelings at some time, maybe longer than they realize. And they are hurtful and they are wrong. You matter.

If someone made you feel less than, they were/are wrong. If an experience made you feel worthless, I'm sorry you went through what you did, and that experience does not define you. I hope you have good people in your life that help you see your talents and abilities. I hope they lift you up and help you succeed. I hope they show you the truth--that you matter.

Your thoughts matter. Your ideas matter. Your creativity matters. Your voice matters. People do want to know you. They want to hear your words, ideas, thoughts. They want to hear about your experiences. They want to have conversations with you. They want to be your friend. You matter.

You are beautiful. You are strong. You are brave. You are smart. You are talented. You are full of experiences and life that others can benefit from. Your life is amazing and meant to be shared. You matter.

I love you and God loves you. To Him, the most important being, you matter.