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Peter Pan, Pixie Dust, and Flying Lesson Obsessions

May 11, 2021

Did you have a childhood obsession? Maybe you were fixated on a thing happening that was impossible to happen?

My obsession: Believing Peter Pan would come and take me to Neverland.

How Did It Start?

Did it start with a book? Or a movie? I believe it was the movie Hook, starring Robin Williams. Have you seen it?

No, it was the video recording of the play. I watched part of it one night as I kept an icepack pressed against my head–keeping down the swelling I had received from falling from the top bunk of the bed my sister and I shared.

Or did it start from something else?

I honestly don’t remember.

What I do remember: I was obsessed with flying, with Tinker Bell sprinkling me with pixie dust, and Peter Pan taking my hand, leading me off to Neverland.

Calling On Peter Pan

I wasn’t completely alone in my obsession. My childhood friend loved the idea of flying off to Neverland as much as I did. After school, we would cross the street from her house the church parking lot and twirl in circles, calling Tinker Bell to come sprinkle us with her magic dust.

“I believe in fairies!” we yelled into the sky. We twirled and twirled and twirled until we became too dizzy to continue.

Wishing on a Star

My bed was next to the window, and at night, I would open up the curtain and stare into the star-filled sky. I looked for Peter among the stars, hoping I would see him weaving through the tiny lights.

Sometimes I would catch the sky before it filled and wish upon a star. “Start light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might have the wish I wish tonight. Please send Peter Pan to my bedroom window.”

Praying to God

I kept wishing on the star, but soon realized I needed to invoke a higher power. I turned my efforts toward prayer.

“Heavenly Father, I want so much to join Peter Pan. Will you please send him to my window?” I prayed and prayed and prayed. And when Peter still didn’t come, I didn’t lose faith. I found another way to exercise it.

Packing My Things

All the adults said that faith is an action. So if I truly believed that Heavenly Father could send Peter to me, I needed to show Him I believe. I don’t know how many nights I packed my clothes and items I wanted to be sure to take with me. Not having a suitcase readily available, I tore the walls from my Barbie Folding Fun House and carefully placed my items inside. I set the “suitcase” by my bed and fell asleep hoping Peter Pan would wake me when he arrived.

I Won’t Grow Up

A large part of me wanted to go with Peter Pan for the sole purpose of flying. I wanted to soar through the air and dive and twirl and feel free in the sky. But a small part of me wanted to stay a child forever. I loved being a kid. I loved having an imagination and playing. And I never wanted that to go away.

Peter Pan Never Came

Peter never came, and I did grow up. I never learned how to fly, at least not with pixie dust.

I’ll never forget that little girl. She knew how to dream. She knew how to imagine. She believed anything and everything was possible. I hope one day to become just like her.


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